Tears are close to the surface as Dad and I talk about Sweet Ireta. My step-mom always said, "There are no steps in my heart!" so it seems weird to call her my "step-mother."
After losing two sisters and a brother within a few months of each other, while already under a great deal of physical and emotional stress, something in Mom snapped.
-- Perhaps it was that she had to put her sister in a body bag because the people sent to do it weren't strong enough.
-- Perhaps it was the accident while returning from the funeral home that totalled the car.
-- Perhaps it was the news that her grandson had hit a tree while snow skiing, and she thought he was dead.
-- Perhaps it was the fact that she never did mourn the losses of these siblings, but held it all inside.
Only the Lord knows; and now only He can help her.
Six months ago, while still sporting a big black boot and crutches, I went to Mom Ireta's brother Manual Hastings' funeral. Ireta came over to the house briefly to see Christine, Stevo and Aubrey and the girls. It was nice.
Little did we know how things would change within only 6 months.
Mom lost about 50 pounds, lost her memory, lost her cognoscience, lost her will to live. The hard part is watching Dad's heart break.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A New Year, A New Outlook, A New Me!
In redefining myself, I have to look at not who I am inside, but how I manifest that by my actions.
My definition of myself has changed many times throughout the different phases of my life.
There are some things, however, that have remained constant. These are my core values and characteristics.
Throughout each phase, I try to make evident these values and characteristics. Everything else is just fluff.
Some of these things include: faithful, humble, gentle, kind, thoughtful, generous, and loving.
All of the other goals I set are simply ways I am trying to improve myself. The most important goals I can make, however, are those that add to my core. These can only be done with the help of the Lord. Spiritually cleansing the inner vessel and concuring pride.
I love those two talks by President Benson in 1986 and 1989. They have impacted me tremendously all of these many years.
That is my New Year's resolution: to scrub my soul according to the definitions of pride as found in those words of the prophet.
Sure, I'm going to exercise more, organize my efforts, and work on genealogy and music projects. I plan to study the scriptures more and keep up with my personal history projects.
There you go, in a nutshell.
Since I'm actually an extroverted introvert, I know I can do this. It's easy! (ha ha)
My definition of myself has changed many times throughout the different phases of my life.
There are some things, however, that have remained constant. These are my core values and characteristics.
Throughout each phase, I try to make evident these values and characteristics. Everything else is just fluff.
Some of these things include: faithful, humble, gentle, kind, thoughtful, generous, and loving.
All of the other goals I set are simply ways I am trying to improve myself. The most important goals I can make, however, are those that add to my core. These can only be done with the help of the Lord. Spiritually cleansing the inner vessel and concuring pride.
I love those two talks by President Benson in 1986 and 1989. They have impacted me tremendously all of these many years.
That is my New Year's resolution: to scrub my soul according to the definitions of pride as found in those words of the prophet.
Sure, I'm going to exercise more, organize my efforts, and work on genealogy and music projects. I plan to study the scriptures more and keep up with my personal history projects.
There you go, in a nutshell.
Since I'm actually an extroverted introvert, I know I can do this. It's easy! (ha ha)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Christmas with Kids and Kidlets is fun!
We certainly had a white Christmas! about 18 inches fell within a few days of the holy day. I'm glad we had a van for Barbie and her family to use while they were here.
The Death of Matt's grandfather was the circumstance that brought all of their family to Utah. Though that is not ideal, it was nice to have them here and do share the holiday with them.
Becca and Steve, Laura and her new friend Chris, Kristina, as well as David also spent time with us.
Stevo's little family and Christine were able to spend some time with us on Christmas Eve.
Little Kyrie liked my chin!
Dave was so great! He took care of everything!
Christine also received her Young Women in Excellence award. I was able to make it to Kaysville for the presentation.
Our sons Steve Summers and David have been working on finishing the basement for us.
I haven't seen it yet, but Dave takes occasional pictures for me.
Holiday times are great! I LOVE it!!
The Death of Matt's grandfather was the circumstance that brought all of their family to Utah. Though that is not ideal, it was nice to have them here and do share the holiday with them.
Becca and Steve, Laura and her new friend Chris, Kristina, as well as David also spent time with us.
Stevo's little family and Christine were able to spend some time with us on Christmas Eve.
Little Kyrie liked my chin!
Dave was so great! He took care of everything!
Christine also received her Young Women in Excellence award. I was able to make it to Kaysville for the presentation.
Our sons Steve Summers and David have been working on finishing the basement for us.
I haven't seen it yet, but Dave takes occasional pictures for me.
Holiday times are great! I LOVE it!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Have I got a leg to stand on?
Try this for 6 weeks:
Sleep with one leg out of the covers, propped up on a pillow, while wearing a large heavy boot.
Wake up with pain, take a pill or two, then realize that you have to go to the restroom since you are now very awake.
Enjoy the pain as blood rushes into your already swollen foot.
Carefully transfer yourself from the tall bed, to the wheelchair, while holding your heavy leg up. Then stand up on one foot, use the walker to inch your way into the restroom being careful not to hop because the jerking intensifies the already painful foot you are holding up in the air.
Back up on one foot, reach to close the door and lift the lid.
While remaining on one foot, and holding the other foot in the air, lower the necessary clothing and carefully sit down.
Assuming that everything worked out alright -- which is not common while taking narcotics -- stand up on one leg again, get dressed, inch your way to the wheelchair: all on one foot!
Wheel yourself back to the bed and carefully lifting yourself onto the bed.
Hope the pain pill works soon.
That's the evening... what about going downstairs?
What about finding stuff to do throughout the day, every day?
What about some muscles growing stiffer, while the ones in your leg begin to atrophe?
What about the fog of medication?
What about the body aches and pain as you decrease the medication dosages?
What about sponge-baths for the first few weeks, and then trying to get in and out of the tub safely while holding one leg high up in the air?
What about...
Have I got a leg to stand on? Nope.
I have no reason to complain. I only have reason to rejoice!
No matter how bad things are... they could always be worse.
The Lord's goodness to me and generous tender mercies are overwhelming!
Sleep with one leg out of the covers, propped up on a pillow, while wearing a large heavy boot.
Wake up with pain, take a pill or two, then realize that you have to go to the restroom since you are now very awake.
Enjoy the pain as blood rushes into your already swollen foot.
Carefully transfer yourself from the tall bed, to the wheelchair, while holding your heavy leg up. Then stand up on one foot, use the walker to inch your way into the restroom being careful not to hop because the jerking intensifies the already painful foot you are holding up in the air.
Back up on one foot, reach to close the door and lift the lid.
While remaining on one foot, and holding the other foot in the air, lower the necessary clothing and carefully sit down.
Assuming that everything worked out alright -- which is not common while taking narcotics -- stand up on one leg again, get dressed, inch your way to the wheelchair: all on one foot!
Wheel yourself back to the bed and carefully lifting yourself onto the bed.
Hope the pain pill works soon.
That's the evening... what about going downstairs?
What about finding stuff to do throughout the day, every day?
What about some muscles growing stiffer, while the ones in your leg begin to atrophe?
What about the fog of medication?
What about the body aches and pain as you decrease the medication dosages?
What about sponge-baths for the first few weeks, and then trying to get in and out of the tub safely while holding one leg high up in the air?
What about...
Have I got a leg to stand on? Nope.
I have no reason to complain. I only have reason to rejoice!
No matter how bad things are... they could always be worse.
The Lord's goodness to me and generous tender mercies are overwhelming!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)